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He says he stayed with his partner only because she announced she was pregnant.
“Being the nice guy I am, I offered to stick around,” he tells me.
I’m also dismayed to find that Naughty Boy69 is also unavailable. Two hours later my inbox is still ringing hollow – not a single response.
Testing if the experience is gender-specific, I coax a female colleague (see right) into signing up to a rival site. On a separate account, posing as a woman, I get chatting to a male user.
Within seconds of joining the 1.01 million “genuine” users of for “investigation”, I have nine new messages from potential suitors and 25 profile views.
Priming myself not to lie or deceive, I set up a profile.
I hit the first hurdle when both usernames Naughty Boy88 and Naughty Boy1988 are taken.
Aping a provincial nightclub, women are granted full use of the site free of charge, while men have to pay. I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t just sign up for the Affair Guarantee Package of 2,000 credits at a reasonable £229.80.
While I um and ah about forking out another wedge, the messages start to arrive.