Dating codependent man Schenectady adult chat
"Research suggests that codependents have a history of neglect," says Dr. "Being abandoned as a child is not necessarily a direct cause, but it does seem to be connected." Adds Edythe Denkin, Ph D, certified marriage counselor and author of Relationship Magic, "When your feelings have been discounted all your life, you end up choosing a partner who will discount your feelings without even being aware of it." You may be at risk of landing in a codependent relationship if you grew up with parents who:• Neglected or ignored you • Were self-centered and/or narcissistic• Were substance abusers or addicts • Were clinically depressed • Were so controlling of everything you did that your own desires and feelings didn't seem to matter Though kids from these types of dysfunctional families don't always end up in codependent relationships, what can happen is that they become "parentified," says Dr. "They eventually develop the habit of either parenting themselves or parenting their parents." In the case of substance-abusing parents, for example, these kids may be accustomed to cleaning up after a parent or making excuses for them.
Codependent relationships between mothers and sons often develop in situations where the mother is a single parent or the father is emotionally estranged, explains certified life coach and dating expert J. The mother recreates the lost relationship via her son, causing an unhealthy dynamic."A small amount of codependency is normal," explains Tracy Prout, Ph D, assistant professor of psychology at the College of Mount Saint Vincent in Riverdale, New York, and a therapist in private practice in Manhattan."Sacrificing your own needs in moderation, or temporarily, can be good for a relationship." It's when you are totally out of touch with your own needs and feel that your partner "completes" you that your behavior can imply something unsettling: that you're not OK on your own.For example, ask if you three can have dinner together once a month as opposed to every weekend. Phil recommends he be specific about when his mother is invited into your lives and when she isn't.Your partner also needs to demonstrate to his mother that he's loyal to you first and foremost.