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Unless you like prostitutes—I mean, that's guaranteed sex right there. You can tell me, I'm not a cop* Let's face it, after Tinder took off, the appeal of Ok Cupid started to wane—much like the flaccid penises who were getting ignored by the instant gratification swipe of Tinder.Ok Cupid became less of a hookup app and more of a—ew—relationship app.What's especially satisfying is the taboo-free interface that, frankly, allows you to get as taboo as you want. Let it be known that Luxy only ranks high in this list because hundred-dollar bills are a straight-up aphrodisiac in America. I mean, you've got to know that people are down to clown if you match on 3nder—no one's on this app in hopes of finding a meaningful relationship with two dudes named Brad. Grouper has taken every part of a bad date and stuck them together until a good date is formed: rich tech kids, strangers, bad wingmen, and micromanagement. So when four aroused like-minded individuals are in an enclosed environment under the guise of bragging about their startup until someone's pants come off...well, that leads to a new sexual move called "The Steve Hand Job." Tinder is about as 21st century as it gets. Tinder has become tricky in the sense that some people have caught on and realized there are decent human being on this app...however, if you swipe right on a Saturday at 2 a.m., you're not going to wake up alone—OR ALIVE. When you have a successful business and a whittled-down user population, you're going to have one successful hookup app.What's more sexy than finding sex on a sex-free app? We support our prior statement that "Luxy is a dating app for giant rich douches," but we generally hope that everyone on Luxy loses all their money in a Ponzi scheme. You're set up on a foursome with a friend and two anonymous people and are told to go into a restaurant until sparks fly. Grindr actually predates Tinder by three years and absolutely nailed the dating game by simply giving people what they want: nearby folks who want to take the scenic route to the bone zone.

With more than 1000 dating sites it is necessary that you choose the one that is apt for you.

Do you know where Marcel friggin' Proust is Some people stick to their guns when they say they don't care about looks—and bless their hearts.

Unfortunately, we're literally engineered to gravitate towards attractive individuals who smell like redwood trees and caramel.

Some film stars made it and some didn't—take Buster Keaton, for example, he tried singing. People want sex and they want it now—from the moment the app is downloaded to the moment of the actual date, the number of steps is, frankly, too high.

You have to sign up, write a profile, sift through other profiles—the average millennial's attention span is about the size of the period at the end of this sentence.

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