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Reuben Davidger, seventeen years and four months captive amongst the Dyaks of Borneo. The Cadet Corps of the London Rifle Volun- teer Brigade. Although Water is the most wholesome of all liquids, yet the fol- lowing are free from alcohol, and comparatively innocent, viz. Get full access to The American Civil War You are subscribed to our Study Soup free trial.Please confirm your 1 month subscription to continue accessing high quality study material. " " I drowned Cleopatra's first husband in Forty-Seven." " If you had submerged the entire menage, the world would have lost a bad woman and a good play." " Then Probus, who conquered Florian — " " I never could do that, but then I hate all French books, except Baeelais." " He improved my navigation — " " In otio et negotio Probus, just like me," said Mr. " Didn't I defeat the Fifth Crusade, by an overwhelming majority ? Punch, modestly, "and could inform you that I am sold wherever the English language, or even what, in America and Belgravia, is supposed to be the English lan- guage, is spoken." " Done this time/ however," said Father Nile, radiantly. Russ ell's fat e to behold their transforma tion scene and BY W. Six hundred and thirty years before your era, there was a Milesian factory upon my Bolbitic branch." " Bother your Bolbitic branch," said Mr. " Do you consider it a credit to have been patronised by the Irish of the Future ? Don't I remember what Juvenal, whom I strongly resemble in all his few good qualities, said about your mouths — rari quippe boni — and the gates of Thebes ? Well, are you not much obliged to my Anglo-Indian friends, Captain Speke and Captain Grant, for inventing you, and bringing you up into fashion again, and getting you talked about by Sib Bodeeick Muechison, in the presence of the M6'st distinguished and intellectual Swells of the Metropolis of the World? Punch." " My publishers Could tell you another st Ory," said Mr. u Don't growl, Toby, Sir, the elderly gentleman means to be complimentary, and doesn't know that you have the entree of the British Museum, and have seen Anubis." " I heard," said Father Nile, " that the very first sight which the Prince of your country showed to his beautiful bride, on the day of her arrival, was Yourself, crowned, like a priest, with flowers." " We don't crown 6uf priest^ except sometimes with powdered Wigs," said Me; Punch, " but on othe r points you are accurately informed ; and though I don't care a piastre for Alexandria, I Value the smile 1 received on that day from Alexandea at the price of the Pyramids." " Tou deserved it," said the Aged Biver, " Without self-conceit, I believe that I did," said Me. The United States have been a vast burlesque on the functions of nation al existence, a nd it w as Mr. Punch, "and now what's the matter with you, you old Myth and Mystery. " I am a most respectable old river, and if I am not what I was, that is not my fault. " The placable old creature recovered his equanimity, and said, smiling, " At my time of life we are, perhaps, too apt to believe that we are not treated with due respect." " Certainly, there 's no fool like an old fool," answered the incorrigible Mr. " But I tell you I have the utmost veneration for you. He meant Thebes in Bceotia, where a good many of my literary friends come from. " Come, come," said Mi Punch, " that won't do with me. Toby, look out, or that animal '11 be St-biting oh you." " Ha! hal" roatfed Father Nile (giving his urn such an extra shake that the man at the Nilometer at Cairo ran out bellowing that the inundation had come without notice, for which indiscretion he was, we are happy to say, well bastinadoed), " there 's no selling you, Me. "Year after year I send forth, for joy, and for comfort, and for fertilising, my magnificent Volume " " So do I," said Me. We regret especially that we have no space for the story respecting ;t he President, on page 372 of the second volume.

Before she signs a contract, she clearly ought to stipulate to have her walks on level ground ; for it would be sadly uphill work for lungs as well as legs, were she required to sing while walking up a hill. We wonder wherein is the difference between a " leading lady " and a " walking lady." Does the latter always follow people when outwalking, and never go in front of them ? Read in the Light, of the : Present Day:— Chapter I. Cressy and Poictiers; or the Story of the Black Prince's Page. The salary to be £7,000 per annum, with a pipe of Burgundy. Punch expressed his cordial approval of the appointment of a Functionary, whose enlightened opinions would rectify the spirit of judicial dicta. As to the majority of jokes, namely, those of more than 30 years old, they might be considered to prove themselves, and no evidence of their coming from the proper custody need be required. "Sol applied to the Butcher, my dear, and he 's sent me a noble Dog ; hut what I want now, my dear, is to have him unchained, and then for you to slip out, and come over the Garden Wall like a thief or a roller, for me to see if he 's faithful ! — Bless you, a pack o' Cowards, afraid o' t Jieir lives of him : besides, my dear, he knows 'em, and wouldn't hurt 'em ; but I thought, my dear, as you'd gone into the Army, you wouldn't mind! He therefore advised that a public officer, to be called the Joker-General, should be appointed, whose functions should be to relieve the tedium of the proceedings _ by making, at proper intervals, satirical comments on the Judge, Council, Jury, and Suitors, and which, like a polished razor keen, should wound with a touch that 's scarcely felt or seen. Old Lady of Peopeety (to her Nephew, Ensign Skelter, who expects to come in for the best part of his Aunt's money). The sugar boiled in the water, and the lemon-juice added when cold.

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